For the most part, many teens are placed in foster care rather than outright adoption. However, the trials of caring for a teenager are the same in either case. Although teenagers can be a handful, you have to set the best example possible in order to help reshape his or her life. The circumstances surrounding a teenager’s foster placement or adoption can create a great deal of drama. Most of these teenagers will refuse your help, but rely on it more than they realize or will care to admit.
Depression – You can’t force a teenager to tell you what is wrong with them. A strong willed teenager can be as tight lipped as a secret agent who was caught by the enemy. No amount of torture will get the truth to come out. All you can really do is continue to try and be a part of his or her life. Continue to include them in household activities even if they constantly decline. Involve yourself into their hobbies if possible and let them teach you what the subject is about. Don’t ignore the depressed child, but keep them occupied with life.
Anger – One of the hardest situations to deal with is an angry troubled teen. At times it may seem like they want to do nothing but fight. As long as you show them that you cannot be intimidated, they will ease up on trying your patience. Don’t be a carpet to be walked on, but keep your cool even when they don’t. Keeping a calm and collected manner during an episode can be difficult. If at all possible, separate the child from the situation until he or she can calm down and talk rationally. It may take some time, but it is possible.
Discipline – Providing discipline for a troubled teen could seem impossible at times. If the teen has an attitude of not caring, you can be lost as to what will impact them the greatest without crossing the line. Most teenagers want to be treated and respected as adults. Although they may throw temper tantrums as a child, they want to be seen as more. Treating them like children will only compound the problem.
Sometimes, engaging the teen in a conversation can provide a great deal of information. Don’t lecture the teen, but try to engage them on a level they can comprehend. Telling the teen something that happened to yourself in a similar situation could help them relax and become open with their feelings.
Persistence – Depending on the situation surrounding the teen’s placement, he or she may already be expecting you to give up. This is not an option. Regardless of how hard the teen tries to distance themselves, you need to keep vigilant. They need to know that they do matter and that you are not about to give up on them. There will undoubtedly be times where you want to surrender and send them away. Giving up on a child at any age can shape the way he or she will view life and in today’s world, that is simply not an option to consider. Be assertive in your role as a parent, but don’t try to control every aspect in their life. It will only drive a wedge between the two of you.
Although their pasts may have forged who they are, teenagers can be guided for improvement. It takes a strong character to not give up on a troubled teen and prove to him or her that they do matter to someone in this world. Be a strong assertive influence in his or her life and they can be changed for the better.
About the Author
Amanda Carlson, a blogger as well as a former newborn care nurse contributed this post. To stay connected to her previous career and share the knowledge she gained, she began writing for www.newborncare.com. You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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