I attended my first mom’s group when Jackson was 5 weeks old. The problem was I wasn’t prepared with what my story would be – would I say he’s adopted or not. I don’t want to tell every stranger he’s adopted but what do I say about my labour, why I don’t have baby weight, why I’m formula feeding, who he looks like, etc.
To anyone reading this right now, you’re probably thinking just say things like ‘it was fine, he looks like both of us, I’m lucky not to have kept any weight on, etc.’ Well one thing about me is I’m not a good fibber and I’m extremely open. That’s just who I am. So I went to my first group and luckily no one asked me anything personal. Unfortunately it also meant I barely talked as I didn’t want to get asked those questions lol.
I then went to a new mom’s group within walking distance from my house. I really liked the moms I met right off the bat and was having some great conversations. Then the questions started as Jackson was the youngest in the room – how was your labour, is his middle name named after anyone, why are you going back after 9 months vs. a year, do you want to speak to a lactation consultant to help with any questions (as I was the only one formula feeding)? I tried to give one word answers and move on but it just wasn’t me. So I opened up and told a few moms close by that he was adopted. A weight lifted off my shoulders and some of the moms then shared their pregnancy stories (i.e., struggles with infertility). I don’t want Jackson to be labeled as adopted everywhere he goes but I also don’t think it’s something we need to hide and every person is different and you have to do what feels right for you. I have to say I left feeling awesome and looking forward to going back next week not worrying I’m going to have to dodge questions.
About the Author
Shannon Talbot is an Adoptive mom of beautiful baby boy living in Toronto, Ontario, wife of 5 years to an amazing man, marketer by trade, bilingual in Spanish, dog lover with 4 year old beagle and blogger who loves sharing my story to help others through infertility and adoption. http://whattoexpectwhenyouarenot.wordpress.com/
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