TTC may well be the new OMG for life as a young woman with motherhood on her mind.
TTC, in Internet-speak, means “trying to conceive.” Being labeled “infertile” or discovering a partner’s infertility is changing the life plans of many in their late 20s and early 30s.
“I wanted to have three children by now,” says Lindsay Coser, 28, of St. Peters, Mo. “It’s been very devastating because this is out of my control.”
She and husband Nicholas Coser, 27, stopped using birth control when they got engaged in February 2010. They married seven months later and began trying to conceive. She saw a specialist a year ago and is now seeing another.
Coser’s generation is living a different experience of infertility than the stereotypical over-35 career woman who married late. More specialists are seeing younger women, impatient to start families; often they haven’t been trying a year before seeking treatment, considered standard practice under 35. They search the Internet for information, provide emotional support online and are outspoken about their disappointment as they put a new face on a topic once considered taboo.
“The older woman is sort of a myth, even though that’s the public perception. Infertility affects women and men at all ages,” says Barbara Collura, executive director of RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, a nonprofit advocacy group. It wants to alert women in their 20s to start thinking about having kids – often not on the minds of 20-somethings, who may still be in college or grad school, unemployed, not yet partnered or not emotionally ready to become parents.
“The time to start planning your motherhood is … in your 20s,” says Brigitte Mueller, 43, of Los Angeles, who wrote, produced and directed a documentary airing on PBS in September called My Future Baby: Breakthroughs in Modern Fertility. It features the Fertility Clock, an age chart she co-developed with a fertility specialist to help women estimate their chances to conceive.
Mueller watched two of her sisters have trouble getting pregnant; she has frozen four eggs for possible future use.
Kids weren’t on Candice Nigro’s mind at 22, says Nigro, 29, of Middletown, N.J. “I just thought when I was ready, it would just happen. We figured we’d try a couple of months and we’d have a baby.”
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