A miscarriage leaves a woman will an unexpected, gnawing gap in one’s emotional as well as the physical being. The feelings of fear and apprehension about whether ‘I would be able to conceive again?’, or, ‘How do I deal with this loss?’, or, ‘Will I ever be able to forget this lost baby and move on?’ find a paramount space in the heart and mind of the lady who has lost the lost. And, the feeling of loss is not one sided. It is shared equally by the expecting mother’s partner too. How can you move ahead and neutralize this fear?
Share the pain
Words and tears are powerful medium of conveying what you are feeling deep inside your heart. Share this with your family members, friends and partner. Do not stay quiet. Let your pain find a way out of your system. Unshared pain gives rise to fear, loneliness and depression.
Find emotional support
Be with those who are capable of understanding your fear and guilt without criticizing you. Don’t stay alone. Try to speak to those who have been through similarly trying times and ask them about how did they survive – though they may not have any lessons to give, knowing that you are not alone in grief helps the heart. You can also find support groups in your city that you can meet and be with. Each support counts.
Speak to your doctor
Before reaching at any unscientific conclusions about why had a miscarriage, speak to your doctor and ask about the cause of the loss. Generally, the cause of loss remains unknown – it just happens, without you going out to “do it”. If your doctor tells you that there is no known factor which led to miscarriage, believe him, and stop taking extra precautions that you think will lead to another miscarriage. If the doctor tells you of a reason, work on it with a positive frame of mind. Positivity is the fountain of life.
Take time before you think of conceiving again
Grieve for this was-to-be-child for a considerable time period. Though it is possible to conceive within few weeks of miscarriage, you should allow yourself time to get over the immediate loss. The time gap allows calming down of fears.
Nourish yourself emotionally and physically
Take out time to take care of your body in a way that it makes you happy. Shaping yourself physically will build confidence about the next child, and, remove negative feelings. You can write a diary or maintain a journal where you write about the ‘good things which can happen to me in future if I stay positive’. Or, pen down a list of a dozen positive healing quotes that inspire you and stick them up on your cupboard so that you may read them whenever you are low or passing it.
Be with your partner
Since the lost child was also that of the to-be-father, share your thoughts, fears and grief with your partner. He, at this time, can perhaps best understand how you feel.
If you believe in God, know that He will give you what He thinks well. If you are an atheist, believe in yourself. Nothing is impossible if tried with complete faith.
About the Author
Alia Haley is a blogger by profession. She loves writing on technology, health and luxury. Beside this she is fond of gadgets. Recently an article on In Vitro Fertilization attracted her attention. These days she is busy in writing an article on Child obesity.
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