This Article was not Written in Affiliation with Mom at Last.

Full disclosure: I do have a kid with a Ridiculously Rare chromosomal abnormality. His particular disorder is not correlated with the parents’ age. I am under 40.

There are two things I’m not discussing in this post. One is the ethics of abortion, which I’ve inconclusively touched on elsewhere. The other is the prudence of having a child when the mom is over 40. Is it a good idea for a woman to wait until her fertility drops and risk of genetic disorders increases? I myself decided that it wasn’t a good idea for me. There are pluses and minuses, and each will weigh on each family differently. So that’s not what I want to talk about here. I by no means dispute the facts that fertility drops and genetic disorders increase with maternal age.

What I want to talk about is whether the increased risk of genetic disorders makes it immoral (not imprudential) to have a child if you’re a woman over 40.

Women in general have a 97-98% chance of having a child without a birth defect. About chromosomal abnormalities: a 40 year old woman has a 98.5% chance of having a baby with no chromosomal abnormalities. A 45 year old has a 95.2% chance of having a baby with no chromosomal abnormalities.

There are three possible parties that might be harmed by the decision to have a baby over 40: the baby, the parents and other family members, and society in general.

First, the baby. Is it a wrong to him to bring him into existence with disabilities? I think there’s a pretty low bar for a life so awful it had better not had been lived at all. Certainly not in most cases of Down syndrome, where people can often walk, talk, read, laugh, and socialize. My own child is more severely disabled than the majority of people with Down syndrome. We’re not sure if he will walk unassisted, if he will ever speak. But here’s what I see (I may be biased, but on the other hand, I observe disability much more closely than most people): I see a boy who has far more pleasure than pain. Who enjoys socializing, playing, splashing bathwater everywhere, laughing, trying to talk. Who recognizes friends and family. I also see a boy who has a lot of annoying health problems and who will never marry, live independently, hold a job without a minder, live as full a life as his brothers do. But I do not see a life that is not worth living. There are many different ways in which people don’t live independently (people on dialysis, for example) and yet their lives are worth living. I think most of us share the instinct that there is actually a fairly low bar for a life worth living. Experiences are themselves valuable. Most of us who favor euthanasia favor it under pretty strict circumstances. Wrongful life lawsuits are not allowed in a majority of states precisely because it seems wrong to say the child is harmed merely by being brought into existence. There is a chance a woman over 40 will have a child so severely disabled that his life is not worth living, I suppose. I have no idea how to characterize that in terms of percentages, but I think that would be extremely unlikely.

Continue Reading the Article from Rose…

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Moms over 40 Community Information

BeliefNet | Over 40 Moms

New Moms over 40 at BabyCenter

New Parent Network | Moms over 40 Community


Wrongful life, wrongful birth, and moms over 40 — 3 Comments

  1. Rose, I put in the beginning of the article under your name & time that the article was not written for Mom at Last, but we thought it was so inspirational we had to share it with our community!

  2. Hi! I appreciate the link, but would rather it were clearer that it was not written in affiliation with this site. Thanks!

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